I recently almost apologized for something that was irrefutably NOT my fault and to make it even worse there was no way I could have possibly known my action would have created such an inconvenience to the degree I would be chastised for it. And such a chastising it was! I was accused of not knowing my own profession . . .
Truthfully the experience has been bothering me for days now and not because of the insult. I like to believe that over the years as I’ve matured that I've gone through great lengths to know when an apology is required from me (even if it means swallowing my own ego) and to not succumb to being pressured into one. It's been so long since I've slipped into that cowed apologetic mode that in fact it startled me immensely and it hurt me at the same time to have felt cornered to the degree that an empty apology nearly escaped me which in the end would have meant absolutely nothing to the other person involved.
I wonder if I hold myself to the kind of level where things not in my control are of my doing, that I should know better? Perhaps, based on the party’s reaction - I do? Why did I placate the other party if it only resulted in me feeling like an idiot after being chastised?
Hmm . . . perhaps over the years I've slipped into a "comfort zone" and it appears my analytical repartee requires some honing, it seems a little too . . . dull.
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